Hanging with the Kids

To say that this was a humongously random weekend would be an understatement. There were three things I had planned on doing and two of those did happen, but the rest was an amalgamation of oddities. Partly due to conversations (some long overdue and some that didn’t happen), partly due to participants and well, partly due to the fact that as much as I hate my new “go with the flow” attitude I’m still embracing it and acting upon it. Sigh.

What hit me like a ton of bricks this weekend is that I am not a youngen anymore (is that supposed to be two words, hyphenated or something? Where’s the rule book for these terms?). See that picture to the left? It was my 21st birthday and that's the bottle of tequila my mom bought me. I could totally rockstar it then. By no stretch am I an old spinster or even, well, old but there are certain things that can be done at 21-22 that attempting at this age will not work out well. Then again, I’m fully embracing the fact that some don’t think I look a day over 26 so I’ll run with it. Yep, I’m 26 or at least 26+.

For example, staying out past a reasonable bedtime two days in a row, with getting up early, no nap and two hours of Krav does not make for an easy end to a weekend. Of course, if you take out the Krav part you could be talking about a four year old too but not the point. Now add some alcoholic beverages and a penchant for thinking too much before falling asleep and you have a potent combination. I’d try and count the hours I actually slept on Friday/Saturday but that would make me sad. Unlike the hours I slept Sunday (there was no Saturday/Sunday sleep as that didn’t even happen until like 5 a.m.) which might outnumber the awake ones.

All this in separate instances might not have made me think of the fact that I can’t hang with kids anymore if it wasn’t that part of the randomness had me hanging with “kids” Saturday. I have to say, it had been quite a while since I attempted beer pong or had been in a house where the DINING ROOM TABLE looked like it was only used for beer pong. How did this happen you ask? I met a friend at the bar earlier in the evening and through a string of six degrees of separation that I don’t remember he knew the kids in question. They seemed like alright people. I was the DD that night and far from a party pooper so off to the kids house we went. Oddly the music selection was much more something from my day but perhaps that was a nod to the old farts in the room;) The night was a lot of fun even without the benefit of alcohol but then again I pretty much always have fun when out with that friend. I did feel like the bad mom when I was shutting our participation down at 3:45 a.m. because, well, I was going to fall asleep. Then there was the little excursion to try and get home with a very inebriated co-pilot but it really adds to the fun of the randomness (see, I can go with the flow).

The point is that back in the day a weekend like this would be normal and I could have spent Sunday doing just about anything and woken up at a reasonable hour. 2 p.m. is not a reasonable hour for an adult! And I dragged all day when I didn’t even do anything to drag from! Back in the day I could do that and not feel like crap. I could hang and drink and all that and not have my eyes physically hurt from being so tired. Being older sucks. Having a job to get up for at 5:15 a.m. this morning sucks. I want to be a carefree kid who can hang like that two nights in a row. Ok, perhaps not all that far but at least have some stamina. Damn.

Abort Mission!!!!

The last week was a little tough and at times like that I like to think of the funnier times in my life. As I so eloquently asked a friend on Facebook if she was still up for a little trip to Venezuela (they don’t extradite) I mentioned that I promised to make the excursion more fun than our “Abort Mission” escapade. Just the thought of those two words and the time is enough to have me laughing for a good half hour.

Back in the day, there was one summer that was less than stellar for me and my dear friend Kelly. During this time we were both going through various break-ups and not exactly being in our right minds. We were also about to be unemployed with even more time on our hands so it was a dangerous situation.

Now, I’m not one to tell secrets normally, but we all know that at one point or another we have been guilty of, well, let’s call it changing our driving route and the car having a life of its own and just happening to drive past a certain individual’s house.

In this particular situation, we were able to get a two-fer in with a new car that had a mind of it’s own and just so happened to take us down two streets. In my defense, I wasn’t driving;) As we turned the corner (on to a dead end street mind you) I was riding shotgun and ready to look to my right as we approached a stop sign to see if a certain someone was home and if so what other cars were there. Hey, if the car was going to make us go that way I figured that I might as well get some enjoyment out of the occasion.

Things were going well and as previously mentioned it was summer so the windows were down and the sunroof was open. We were about halfway down the block when I looked to my right and lo and behold, the ex was jogging about four feet away from me. WTF???? Kelly noticed about the same time and there was panic in the car.

I screamed “abort mission, abort mission” (where that came from I have no idea) and tried to make myself invisible. Yes, I realize that screaming in a car with the windows open is not the smartest idea but no one has accused me of being smart. I tried to make the seat go back and it wouldn’t, I tried to climb in to the back seat and I couldn’t. All I could do was slink to the floor and scream “abort mission” a few more times. Poor Kelly had to be a good driver and stop at the stop sign and yell “what’s next” and “what do I do” over and over.

We turned down the street obviously the opposite way of the house in question. I tried to get back in my seat and figure out a plan. I called the ex’s sister to see if she knew what to do (I realize she wasn’t there but come on, I was young and about to be caught doing a drive by). Then Kelly and I decided that TCBY was the best option ever so we could recoup. We get to the store and not kidding you, five seconds later my phone rang. Of course it was him. In my best acting cool voice, I answered. He asked where I was and instead of lying, I told him (I have a problem lying to people. Some consider this a good thing yet I consider it a detriment). He didn’t understand why I kept asking questions about what he had done all day and where he was. All he wanted to do was have dinner.

Fearing that some sort of confrontation about me seeing him in his natural habitat would ensue, I made Kelly go with me. To make it even better, I made her take her car home and keep in the driveway so that he wouldn’t know she had a new one and associate it with screaming women as he ran. I am nothing if not forward thinking.

Obviously the topic didn’t come up at dinner but Kelly and I could not help but laugh at ourselves every few minutes. It’s been a long time since that fateful mission, but every time we think about it we laugh. That’s what friendship is about right?