New Dictionary

For those of us of a certain age, it was a rite of passage that upon entering college you'd get this huge dictionary to take with you. And there is the great part of the cult classic "Say Anything" where Diane Court has gone through her dictionary and highlighted the words she has looked up. I think it is time we start a new dictionary of what some terms really mean. Here's part one.

Friends: completely ambiguous term that means someone you don’t loathe or despise. It could mean you actually like the person or just don’t have apathy for them.

Later: sometime that isn’t now but isn’t when hell freezes over either. When said by a man, it’s a crap shoot how close to hell freezing over it will actually be.

Ledge: the place you reside while liking a stupid male. There is no cure, no magic pill, just a teetering, uncertain feeling that never quite dissipates.

Pseudo/quasi/eh: all three are interchangeable in terms of not putting a label on something that should totally have a label but since label is scary these modifiers are used to keep us on said ledge.