How Reality Bites=My Life

For most of us that graduated in the 90s (late 80s and early 00s too to be as wide-reaching as possible) there are a few key movies that we’ve all seen. It was part of being in that time where flannels, chain belts and Doc Martens were in and (thankfully) big hair was going out. While many of these movies have their place in history and our hearts, I had a complete epiphany about “Reality Bites” as I saw it for the zillionth time a few days ago. The character of Troy completely sums up my romantic history and is a parallel for what I go for and how I think about it. I know, totally out there but bear with me.

In order to completely understand, you have to know that I am that stereotypical good girl. Always have been. I was the “smart, nice” one in high school who was National Honor Society president (for 2 years) and didn’t sneak out, didn’t stay out late. I was that girl your parents always asked if you could be more like. And as every good girl knows, we like the bad boys. Bad boys being a relative term and not in any way indicative of the Detroit Pistons of that era either. For the most part, the guys I liked were pretty decent and I only had one or two that were in to drugs or drinking heavily. Maybe a few that were too old for me but nothing that would really get anyone in trouble. It all began with the desire for someone out of my league though.

Back to the point. I’ve always wanted/liked/pined over the guys that were rough around the edges, needed someone to care, perhaps had an issue or 12 that needed to be fixed. (I know, you can relate.) The thing is, they had absolutely amazing hearts (once you found them). They weren’t bad boys, they were misunderstood or trying to find themselves or everyone else had given up on them and they figured they might as well just be asses. This is where Troy (Ethan Hawke) in “Reality Bites” comes in.

Troy, who is hot by the way and I tended to like guys that I found hot even if other people didn’t, was a wayward son who says that he just gave up due to circumstances and events. He doesn’t hide his issues and will snark on people so that they don’t look at him. But you know he’s looking for someone to reach out to him and just let him be him. And Lelaina almost tries but is so scared of ruining a friendship and is all wrapped up in finding the “right” kind of guy that she takes way to friggin long to come around. Troy is the EPITOME of the guy that I’ve always gone for because he does have a good heart and does come through in the end (that last scene after “All I Want Is You” where he’s on the front lawn makes me want to reach through my TV and hug him way before she does).

See, I know they have good hearts and I know they will (eventually) come through. Therefore I totally ignore rationalize whatever their actions and just look at the light at the end of the tunnel. I’d like to think that in my old age I now don’t do this, but on some level I think I still do. To be fair, I don’t think there is anything wrong with guys that are a little rough around the edges because normal is boring. I like laughs, I like off color jokes. I like that someone is an individual and not part of the herd. Maybe I’ve come a long way since my days of Gap flannels but does that mean that looking for the good in people has to go away too? I hope not. Until I figure it all out though, Troy Dyer (minus the cigs) is gonna have to keep me going.