Abort Mission!!!!

The last week was a little tough and at times like that I like to think of the funnier times in my life. As I so eloquently asked a friend on Facebook if she was still up for a little trip to Venezuela (they don’t extradite) I mentioned that I promised to make the excursion more fun than our “Abort Mission” escapade. Just the thought of those two words and the time is enough to have me laughing for a good half hour.

Back in the day, there was one summer that was less than stellar for me and my dear friend Kelly. During this time we were both going through various break-ups and not exactly being in our right minds. We were also about to be unemployed with even more time on our hands so it was a dangerous situation.

Now, I’m not one to tell secrets normally, but we all know that at one point or another we have been guilty of, well, let’s call it changing our driving route and the car having a life of its own and just happening to drive past a certain individual’s house.

In this particular situation, we were able to get a two-fer in with a new car that had a mind of it’s own and just so happened to take us down two streets. In my defense, I wasn’t driving;) As we turned the corner (on to a dead end street mind you) I was riding shotgun and ready to look to my right as we approached a stop sign to see if a certain someone was home and if so what other cars were there. Hey, if the car was going to make us go that way I figured that I might as well get some enjoyment out of the occasion.

Things were going well and as previously mentioned it was summer so the windows were down and the sunroof was open. We were about halfway down the block when I looked to my right and lo and behold, the ex was jogging about four feet away from me. WTF???? Kelly noticed about the same time and there was panic in the car.

I screamed “abort mission, abort mission” (where that came from I have no idea) and tried to make myself invisible. Yes, I realize that screaming in a car with the windows open is not the smartest idea but no one has accused me of being smart. I tried to make the seat go back and it wouldn’t, I tried to climb in to the back seat and I couldn’t. All I could do was slink to the floor and scream “abort mission” a few more times. Poor Kelly had to be a good driver and stop at the stop sign and yell “what’s next” and “what do I do” over and over.

We turned down the street obviously the opposite way of the house in question. I tried to get back in my seat and figure out a plan. I called the ex’s sister to see if she knew what to do (I realize she wasn’t there but come on, I was young and about to be caught doing a drive by). Then Kelly and I decided that TCBY was the best option ever so we could recoup. We get to the store and not kidding you, five seconds later my phone rang. Of course it was him. In my best acting cool voice, I answered. He asked where I was and instead of lying, I told him (I have a problem lying to people. Some consider this a good thing yet I consider it a detriment). He didn’t understand why I kept asking questions about what he had done all day and where he was. All he wanted to do was have dinner.

Fearing that some sort of confrontation about me seeing him in his natural habitat would ensue, I made Kelly go with me. To make it even better, I made her take her car home and keep in the driveway so that he wouldn’t know she had a new one and associate it with screaming women as he ran. I am nothing if not forward thinking.

Obviously the topic didn’t come up at dinner but Kelly and I could not help but laugh at ourselves every few minutes. It’s been a long time since that fateful mission, but every time we think about it we laugh. That’s what friendship is about right?