Set It Off

Those three little words with nary a second syllable in sight kind of describe the state of affairs in every aspect of my life right now. Work is a debacle and an explosion waiting to happen with the risk of high collateral damage that leaves me wondering how long to stick around. The personal front, well that's just a joke. Sometimes saying something even if it's something stupid isn't the best option yet I'm apparently suffering from some form of Tourettes in order to be heard. Just what I'm trying to say I don't know, but I don't have a super duper warm fuzzy feeling about the end result.

Just because I'm a Leo doesn't mean I really like fire, but it is all around me begging me to play with it. The burns that could result are too far in the distance to make an impact the way they should so that isn't helpful either. Here's to hoping for a warm toasting and not a scalding scar tissue result.

Wow.

Ok well that didn't work so well. For the record, when you forget your password and stuff on here, it ain't easy. Maybe it is for those who are smart enough (read, not me) to set a question that they can actually answer but whatever.

The last few weeks have flown by and I don't really know what I've done to show for them. There have been many articles, some rewrites and gasp, even a few rejections. Those suck as it is so friggin subjective. One editor seriously just hates my writing and won't approve anything I do. I can resubmit with changes under a different title but then (and this is the part they don't tell you) it gets flagged for plagarism. Isn't that nice? That means it takes even longer to go through. I'd like to write more for them but that whole legitimate job that expects me to be mentally present 40 hours a week gets in the way.

There were two dancing excursions which were awesome minus the attempted mounting by a guy on the first one. I get the courtesy dance which we've all done but after that, a smile and a nod and the guy should get the hint. Not so much for him. He also had no rhythm which was approaching flightless bird status so I was laughing so hard I could hardly stand up.

Yep, guess that sums up the last few weeks. Now it is on to bridesmaid mode for one of my bestie's weddings this month. I should probably start prepping my liver now for the bachelorette party.

I'm not ignoring you, just writing all over the place

As my posts here have been less than frequent as of late, thought I'd let everyone (ha, there I go thinking people read this again) know why. First, work has just been super crazy and thus taking more of my mental ability than I'd like. Second, I am happy to report that I'm now a paid freelance writer:) Yes, finally. I have a gig with a contractor for http://www.livestrong.com/ and my content has started appearing along with my great picture. I mean, who doesn't want to write about what epsom salt is good for or how music motivates exercise (seriously, those are two of my first published titles). I'm hopeful that this leads to good things. And I promise that I'll pay more attention here starting next week.

Fun Little Fact

Something that most of my friends know about me is that I have the patience of a two-year old. Really. I do not know how I got through life without any form of this virtue whatsoever, but I have. It stinks. Ok, let me take that down a notch and say that for 99.8 percent of things on this planet I have no patience but a few things/people I do and that tends to not work out so well either.

It should not surprise anyone then that I’m an instant gratification person. Think Vercua Salt from “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” with the jumping up and down “I want it now”. By no means am I saying this is a good trait but at least I know myself and my limits. Therefore, when I decide a situation should be discussed or a plan made or someone getting off their ass, I tend to want it to happen quite quickly. Subsequently I get upset when said person does not respond in the appropriate fashion or timeline and then I start to lose my stuff.

To me, it isn’t that hard to do something on time, return a phone call etc. Apparently I am in the minority on this one though and that is tough for me (yes, there may have been a slight whine there with that but deal). I’m not really at all like the Depeche Mode song “It’s No Good’ where Dave Gahan so eloquently says he’s gonna take his time, he’s got all the time in the world as, well to be frank, I don’t. Things should be done in a timely fashion and there are very few of them that have to be long, drawn out and not fun for anyone.

That is all. Now back to your regularly scheduled lives while I stew over my lack of patience and the people who are not helping.

Nap Time

Without fail, sometime between 10:20 and 10:30 every work day I walk over to Lance’s cube and say “I need a nap.” Lance pretty much knows what I’m going to say and there’s also some sort of “I don’t like my job” that goes along with this statement. This is what happens when I’ve been at work for over three hours. What can I say, I’m a pretty simple girl that may have a few routines.


I kind of wonder why naps are so taboo to those of us in the in-between age. I mean, as a child, you’re allowed, nay encouraged, to nap. And those stinking kids fight it! I would love for someone to say “Kiki, it’s 10:30. That means nap time and then we’ll have some juice and cookies when you wake up.” Come on, that would be awesome. Ok, maybe we could change juice to Diet Coke with Lime or some other beverage and maybe the cookies would be a Special K bar or some Triscuts but that would be great. A nice little way to break up the day.

Old people can nap whenever they want too. Imagine a nice little retirement community in Florida with the mid-day siestas the elderly take make the transition from morning golf to mid-day soap operas before hitting some sort of early bird special. No one tells Granny Mary that she’s not fulfilling her life duties when she takes a nap. It’s a travesty of the age bias in our society that these groups can nap but I can’t. I think I should start a petition.

One could say that getting up as early as I do and working the stupid hours that I do without proper sleep could contribute to my nap needs but I say no. On weekends when I’m not up at 5:15 I’m still feeling the urge to curl up on the comfy couch and take a nap. In my defense, my couch has lulled more than a few people into a tranquil sleep.

I say that the “rules” governing naps be applicable to everyone. I mean, it is a free country right? So next time you walk by me at a certain time and see me slumped over my desk, don’t mock, don’t judge, don’t tsk-tsk. Just think about the enjoyment I get from a quick disco nap to make it through the rest of the day.

Rain (and This Mood) Go Away!

Do you ever have those moments where you wonder where your life went off the tracks? That you see someone else having this “wonderful life” and, as awful as it is to say out loud, you KNOW they don’t deserve it? Or that you see what appears to be everyone else moving forward and you feel you’re stuck in place, waiting for things to start? No, just me then?

I’m not trying to hate on other people, but really, why is it that lately things have felt like they are stuck in neutral without a great option to go forward? I’m not just talking about one life aspect, but multiple.

Oy, maybe it’s the ever-present rain we’ve had lately but, just like Carrie in the “Sex and the City” movie, I feel like I have my personal mexicoma to come out of.

Or maybe my fairy godmother or guardian angel could come off sabbatical and flick a wand or snap her fingers and make things right.

The one thing I have decided on is that I need to get back in to my writing. Although that even feels like a ginormous task as I no longer want to continue with the next book that is mostly done. Sigh. Guess I have some work ahead of me. Can’t it just be pool weather and I can lounge in the sun with a notepad and start?

Tell Me How Lucky I Am To Work Here...

Now, before you go and get all self-righteous that I should be happy to have a job, I must tell you that I do know I’m in a (slightly) better position than lots of people. That’s not the point. The point is that every day I can see myself getting complacent and I know that I am so under-valued at this place it is scary.

For example, when I was up for my promotion a few years ago my VP told me that the company had failed me on multiple levels. That’s stuck with me and I see the instances where it is true again and again. It is very hard to have faith in a place when it telling you these things.

Every day I sit here with a wool sweater draped across my legs since it is freezing I know my skills are diminishing and it scares me. The even bigger problem is that I’m pretty picky about what kinds of things I would like to do if I wasn’t here. I’ve done the leaping before looking thing and now is not the time to try that again in terms of employment. Just because the place isn’t here doesn’t automatically mean it will be a better situation.

The level of frustration keeps growing and I’m not sure what to do about it. Hence this picture kind of sums everything up.

Weekly Workout Train 5/8/10

I decided that since I was such a slacker last week that I’d try to run on Sunday. It sounded good in theory but I wasn’t taking the heavy humidity and pollen in to consideration. Those two factors made it an uphill battle. That said, I did end up doing 3.5 miles of fast walking and jogging so I guess that’s better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

Monday’s Monkey Bar had some termed exercise that I can’t remember. The point was to do 20 seconds of the exercise and then 10 seconds rest for a total of eight repetitions and four minutes. We started with skaters, then push ups (arms close then Hindu), Russian Twists then leg lifts, tire runs then wacky jacks and then some kettle bell row thing. As if that wasn’t enough we did a five minute kettle bell swing. I’m the first to admit that I do not do this technique properly which Lisa kept pointing out. I did however, hold on to the damn thing and didn’t throw it at anyone. It’s the little things right?

Tuesday I had an event and couldn’t work out. I was standing on my feet for about six hours though so maybe I can check Livestrong to see what that counts for.

Wednesday I wanted to go for a jog, but with raindrops the size of silver dollars coming down, I had to settle for some hard core cleaning and a Jillian Michael’s video. I’m not a huge fan of hers, but her 30 day shred isn’t the worst program ever. It goes in sets of strength, cardio and abs. And it’s kind of short so I felt like I was doing something without a ton of effort.

Thursday I prepped for both KM 2 and Monkey Bar. In level 2 we had some focus mitt combinations (left straight, right elbow and then left straight, right elbow, liver shot) followed by kick combinations. Since I did squats like a champ Wednesday, my legs kinda hurt. The self defense this week was headlocks from behind which feel weird to defend and to give. My partner and I made it through though.

Monkey Bar started simply enough with yoga. Then we had the “option” of running or doing stuff inside. Thinking it would be easier, I ran. Ha. I don’t like keeping pace with others. We’d do our circuit then come in for a set time of push ups. After that “fun” there was a set of exercises to run through for two minutes or until you maxed out. They were reach ups, Russian twists with 10 lb. weight, powerwheel rollouts and holding plank. I did pretty well with the first two, sucked at the third and was ok on plank. Whew.

Friday I went back to Monkey Bar since I’m a masochist. Well, also because dodgeball is fun. After that, we did the “prison” workout as fast as possible and then got to go home. The workout was broken down in to arms and legs. The first round was arms and the pyramid went 10-8-6-4-2 for reps. It was a pushup (either downdog/updog or Hindu) and then upright rows holding kettlebells. Round two was legs with lateral jumps and broad jumps (you jump forward propelling yourself as much as possible). It sounds easy but trust me it wasn’t.

Saturday was level 2 and level 1 for Krav Maga. Level two was a lot of the same as Thursday with a few more focus mitt combinations. I have to say I’m apparently building some sort of arm muscle as even I feel my punches getting stronger. The headlock thing screwed me up again but I’ll get it eventually. Level 1 was punches, kick to the vertical target and inside defenses. Honestly, I can always use work on my inside defenses;)

So, for those of you counting along at home, that was eight (8) workouts this week. Perhaps I’ll start seeing results soon….

Songs and Memories

There are some songs that bring back certain memories every time you hear them, regardless of how long it has been or where you currently are. As my iPod seems to be playing some nasty little games with me lately, I found it odd that some of my memory songs were all together on shuffle.

It started with “Back in Black” by AC/DC. Every time I hear this song I think of a pep rally in high school. One may wonder just how a Catholic school let this song be played all the time, but I’m ignoring that. Our colors were black and gold so I guess they just went along with it. I hear the song and I’m back in the Aquinas gym and clapping.

“No Diggity” by Blackstreet had a dance to accompany the great lyrics, but I have since forgotten most of them. In my attempt to be in a sorority at MSU (I was in one in MD but transferred) I was part of the active intro that we did prior to the pledge class serenading the fraternities. I remembering being in the ZTA kitchen and figuring out moves to the song and then wearing Adidas track pants, a white shirt and hat for the actual dance portion. Sometimes little snippets come back to me and I think I have it, but I don’t.

I’m pretty sure that singing “What it Takes” by Aerosmith at a wedding isn’t commonplace but that is exactly what happened back in 2001. Ok, perhaps singing isn’t quite the right word as those of us who stormed the DJ and hijacked the mic weren’t exactly singing so much as screeching, but it was a good time. And to have two girls as the leads (me and Kelly of course) was pretty priceless. I don’t think Steven Tyler has anything to worry about, but the pictures are a nice souvenir. Sidebar: I also contended that I didn’t do a shot that night as I don’t do shots, but then saw a picture to prove me wrong).

“Yellow Ledbetter” is a classic at least in my mind and those who ever rode in the Little Red Ford Probe (see previous post about how much I loved that car). As you may remember, there were people who lived in that car and stole things like change and cigarettes from my friends. I should probably also be honest and say this kind of reminds me of a guy I liked senior year as well but given the longevity of the car and the friendships the song is forever bonded to my senior year of high school. It especially makes me think of my friend C that I was going to open a slurpee stand with.


There was a summer that will live in infamy and not for a lot of good reasons, but there is a song to go along with all the driving excursions, pain and drunken times that makes it a bit better. “Without Me” by Eminem is classic and the intro of “two trailer park girls go round the outside” is hard to not laugh along with. At least a great friendship grew out of that summer;)

And that is just what happened yesterday with my iPod. Who knows what today has in store;)

How Reality Bites=My Life

For most of us that graduated in the 90s (late 80s and early 00s too to be as wide-reaching as possible) there are a few key movies that we’ve all seen. It was part of being in that time where flannels, chain belts and Doc Martens were in and (thankfully) big hair was going out. While many of these movies have their place in history and our hearts, I had a complete epiphany about “Reality Bites” as I saw it for the zillionth time a few days ago. The character of Troy completely sums up my romantic history and is a parallel for what I go for and how I think about it. I know, totally out there but bear with me.

In order to completely understand, you have to know that I am that stereotypical good girl. Always have been. I was the “smart, nice” one in high school who was National Honor Society president (for 2 years) and didn’t sneak out, didn’t stay out late. I was that girl your parents always asked if you could be more like. And as every good girl knows, we like the bad boys. Bad boys being a relative term and not in any way indicative of the Detroit Pistons of that era either. For the most part, the guys I liked were pretty decent and I only had one or two that were in to drugs or drinking heavily. Maybe a few that were too old for me but nothing that would really get anyone in trouble. It all began with the desire for someone out of my league though.

Back to the point. I’ve always wanted/liked/pined over the guys that were rough around the edges, needed someone to care, perhaps had an issue or 12 that needed to be fixed. (I know, you can relate.) The thing is, they had absolutely amazing hearts (once you found them). They weren’t bad boys, they were misunderstood or trying to find themselves or everyone else had given up on them and they figured they might as well just be asses. This is where Troy (Ethan Hawke) in “Reality Bites” comes in.

Troy, who is hot by the way and I tended to like guys that I found hot even if other people didn’t, was a wayward son who says that he just gave up due to circumstances and events. He doesn’t hide his issues and will snark on people so that they don’t look at him. But you know he’s looking for someone to reach out to him and just let him be him. And Lelaina almost tries but is so scared of ruining a friendship and is all wrapped up in finding the “right” kind of guy that she takes way to friggin long to come around. Troy is the EPITOME of the guy that I’ve always gone for because he does have a good heart and does come through in the end (that last scene after “All I Want Is You” where he’s on the front lawn makes me want to reach through my TV and hug him way before she does).

See, I know they have good hearts and I know they will (eventually) come through. Therefore I totally ignore rationalize whatever their actions and just look at the light at the end of the tunnel. I’d like to think that in my old age I now don’t do this, but on some level I think I still do. To be fair, I don’t think there is anything wrong with guys that are a little rough around the edges because normal is boring. I like laughs, I like off color jokes. I like that someone is an individual and not part of the herd. Maybe I’ve come a long way since my days of Gap flannels but does that mean that looking for the good in people has to go away too? I hope not. Until I figure it all out though, Troy Dyer (minus the cigs) is gonna have to keep me going.

Weekly Workout Train 5/1/10

Oh my goodness. Monday’s Monkey Bar was one for the books, or maybe that was just because I hadn’t done anything in so long. It’s kind of a blur, but let’s see if I can remember it:
Squats with arm raises
Skaters
Log jumps
Punches
Umpas
Burpees

Sounds simple so far right? Well we started with 30 seconds each exercise, 30 seconds rest. Then 40 seconds each exercise, 20 seconds rest. Then 50 seconds each exercise, 10 seconds rest. Then back through. Yeah, that’s a lot. To say that sweat was pouring down is probably an understatement but I’m at a loss for how to better describe the situation.

Tuesday was an interesting day. For Monkey Bar, we only did the baseline for sit ups and push ups (not my best day) then we did a jump rope workout. Let’s say jumping rope is not my favorite thing to do. We partnered up and it was two minutes on, two minutes off while you timed your partner. These were sprints and we had to do a total of 10 reps each. Then we cooled down with yoga. I’m telling you, jump rope is no joke and that was a hard one.

Level 2 that night saw me do warm up which came to be a bad idea. We had to be in a circle and everyone had to call out an exercise. There were a lot of people there that night. Then we did punch combinations and uppercuts. The thing is, you don’t just get an arm workout while you’re punching, but while you hold the focus mitts for your partner. My arms were toast by the end.

I wanted to run Wednesday but my knee was out of whack from the jump rope. Not wanting to completely wimp out, I did 30 minutes of pilates (mostly abs, buns and thighs). I’m not sure where the ab workout from this week came in, but they were burning about halfway through.

Thursday I got back in the groove of doing both level 2 and Monkey Bar. Level 2 was a little tough since we were doing a bunch of kicks and that hurt the knee a bit. Then we went in to uppercuts and combinations which means an arm workout when you are punching and when holding the focus mitts for others. To end there was a free for all with your partner (or in my case partners since we were a group of three) where your job as attacker was to punch the bag and their job was to keep you from doing so. Let’s just say there were moments I wanted to hit both of them;)

Monkey Bar was another pyramid that went like this:
Upright Rows with a Kettlebell
Snowboarders
Log jumps (just side to side, not over anything)
Standing Russian Twists with a Kettlebell
Umpas
Push ups (Burpees for others but since my knee isn’t so hot, I did these instead)

It was a pyramid like before with the sets being 30/30, 40/20, 50/10, 40/20, 30/30. Now, I have no arm strength what so ever so using a 18 lb. kettlebell is kind of outside my range of ability, or so I thought. I did all the sets with one. I’m not so sure how long my arms will last today, but that isn’t the point. It was intense, with a jump rope warm up and yoga cool down.

That was it for the workouts. Friday was a good dinner with good friends and Saturday I’m a good bridesmaid and trying on dresses. At least my arms should look good in them right?

Dictionary Part 3

Awesome: while most use it as a positive term, many connotations (especially in this world) have it meaning the opposite. As in “Awesome that you’re already at the bar while I’m sitting here on my bum and watching Golden Girl reruns.” See the subtle difference?

Effort: that thing that’s apparently too hard for others to do and what I’m tired of being the only one to care about and give.

Epic: a word to describe a completely, unequivocally large situation that is most likely being over dramatized. Deal.

Hot Irish BrianTM : (just because I needed something happy in this entry). The standard for “real” guys. You know, since not everyone has a David Beckham at their disposal we come up with real life people to judge by. And yes, I know this is insane:)

Phone Throwing: a therapeutic activity done in an act of rage or emotional breaking that feels quite good and rather cathartic. Warning: said therapeutic endeavor should not be undertaken with a Blackberry.

My Five Rules

Back in the day I had these five rules for anyone that I could be interested in or date. They were:


1. A valid driver’s license. I refuse to be the one to drive someone else around because they could not control themselves with alcohol or so many road rage incidents that they are a danger to others on the road.

2. A job. I try not to be too particular about what that job is, but the guy must have one in order to even be considered. Go ahead, be a circus clown if that makes you happy and you can pay your bills. Who am I to judge on that aspect?

3. No penguins. By this I mean that he cannot physically look like a penguin. Sorry, I’m a bit superficial this way. Or maybe completely superficial. Whatever.

4. No penny loafers. You may laugh or joke, but this fashion trait is truly indicative of a deeper personality flaw. Ok, I guess if this was the last piece of the puzzle to a great guy I might be able to bend a little, but it would require them finding new shoes quickly and disposing of the offending pair.

5. Must love sports. I do not mean the general “sports are cool” attitude, but a deep appreciation for the fact that there will be days I will stay home and watch the game instead of doing other things. It is even better if he has some borderline obsession with a team/sport. I’d like him to be a stereotypical male in this respect.

I’m thinking I need to revise them a bit and lower my standards (I know, how much freaking lower can they get but really, it’s that damn difficult). I mean, I never thought that I’d have to add a rule since, well, five is a nice number, but who knew. I thought it was a nice, common practice to return e-mails/phone calls/text messages but apparently it’s ok to let them languish for days. Days! Then again, if EVERYONE is doing it, can I really make it a rule that if you don’t respond within a certain timeframe you’re done? Ugh. This whole thing just stinks. So, do I add a rule or go back to my tried and true five? Thoughts?

Weekly Workout Train 4/24

Monday’s Monkey Bar was three rounds of hell. Kinda like the nine circles of hell with Dante but not as much fun. It started with the Box workout which consisted of 20 squats, 20 lunges, 20 box jumps, 20 squat jumps and then one minute of rest and repeat. We did that four times in the time allotted. Then we moved on to the jump rope workout which was two minutes jump rope, 100 crunches, two minute jump rope, 100 push ups then two minutes of jump rope. That was only one set. The final set was the powerwheel workout with 10 roll outs, 20 knees to chest, 15 roll outs, 20 knees to chest, 20 roll outs, 20 knees to chest. Finished that four times as well. Just some light cardio there right? My legs were killing me after that.

Tuesday’s Monkey Bar was five around the world, 10 knees to chest (UGH!), 15 down-dog push ups, 20 Russian twists, 25 squats, 50 sit ups and then 100 jump rope revolutions. In 30 minutes I did that five times. So, that’s a total of 25 around the worlds, 50 more knees to chest (because really, 180 the day before wasn’t enough), 75 down dog push ups, 100 Russian twists, 125 squats, 250 sit ups and 500 jump rope revolutions. I should really stop counting these things because it makes me wonder what kind of masochist I really am.

Tuesday’s level 2 was a lot of kicks which went oh so well given the squats and all that from the two days before. For some reason I couldn’t move my legs properly to get enough momentum for my side kick. Oh well. Live and learn right?

Wednesday I decided to run since I am allegedly doing a 5k in May. Let’s say this was a pretty bad wog. I ended up doing 3.19 miles but my time was off and my legs felt like complete logs. They just wouldn’t move. At least I got out there though right?

Thursday I knew I’d only do one workout since, well, I stayed out way too late on Wednesday. My feeble attempt at level 2 was more than feeble. It was still kicks but my mind couldn’t tell my body to move. And even during warm up the three of us couldn’t figure out how to do our push ups and sit ups right. Everyone has an off day but this was pretty ridiculous.

And that ended my working out. Yeah, lame but I did try to move a futon on Sunday so that has to count for something right?

8 a.m. and the iPod

As a general rule I try to not put my iPod on until after 8 a.m. at work. Normally this works out well since I get in at 7 and there really isn’t anyone else here. Somedays, however, that just won’t do. And by won’t do, I mean I feel a bloodcurdling scream stewing in my belly that just might come out if I’m forced one iota more in to noticing that I’m in this place and actually have to deal with insane people whether it is via e-mail or person. Or that I have a huge project I really don’t want to do and I need to get to it. It shouldn’t have to be said that today fell in to the latter category.


I don’t know what it is about the iPod that gives me a sense of control or sanity. Clearly it is an inanimate object that shouldn’t have any effect whatsoever. Then again, two songs from “Rocky IV” might be a good way to get pumped up for whatever I have to deal with today (and by today I should really say every day as each and every minute spent here is one that I’ll never get back and wonder why…).

A little secret? Sometimes during the day when others are here I have my headphones on even though the iPod isn’t. Every now and again it helps to keep people away from me. Silly and something that shouldn’t have to happen in an area with adults but I’m wondering if quote marks need to go around adults because I’m not always sure that they are…

So, I hope you have a much better day than this one is setting out to be. At least I can put my running mix on and pretend I’m outside.

Snippets of My Weekend

While I knew that there were some parts of my weekend that were set in stone, there were some new things added that made it a lot of fun. Granted it wasn’t so good on the sleep side, but when is that ever what my life is like right?

Sunday was the baptism for my godson. Since there is no consistency in terms of religious preferences between the parents and godparents, this is more of a “stay in the kid’s life/honorary” type thing. I did however receive a certificate as his sponsor and that was cool. I’m still holding out for a fairy wand. What, I can’t be a fairy godmother? I mean, I totally could have used one in my day. I should probably Google that later to see if I can find one.(This picture is from suzykendall.com and would be a good look for me right;)

In an effort to get through my Blockbuster queue, I watched two movies (in my spare time) this weekend. The first was Boondock Saints II. Not what I wanted/expected and I had pretty low expectations going in to it. I know sequels are never as good as the first but still. There were cheesy moments that were almost painful to watch. They set it up so there can be a third one and I’m hoping that is a smidge better.

Next was Law Abiding Citizen. Yes, I’m a sucker for Gerard Butler. Again, I get the idea and where they wanted to go, I just don’t think it got there. Not as painful as the first, but still something I’m glad I didn’t spend my money on in the theater.

Oh, that other stuff I was talking about? That was fun but not a story for the blog:)

Weekly Workout Train 4/17/10

A sunny Monday and a charley horse started the week and I’m not sure what kind of mixed omen that is. Once again, the masochism that is Monkey Bar Gym was the first workout on the agenda. I know I should be scared when the phrase “fun stuff” is listed under warm-up. I’m pretty sure Lisa has a completely different idea of that than I do. But as I’m a trooper or an idiot, I stayed. The warm-up wasn’t bad, but then it went downhill.

There were two portions of the workout: cardio and strength. For the cardio, we were to do the rotation four times and strength was three times. Here’s the breakdown:
Cardio
100 jump rope or jumping jacks
50 runners
10 Hindu pushups
25 wacky jacks

Strength
25 pushups
50 Russian twists
25 Squats
50 crunches
10 jump knees to chest
That’s a total of 400 jump ropes, 200 runners, 40 Hindu pushups, 100 wacky jacks, 75 pushups, 150 Russian twists, 75 squats, 150 crunches and 30 jump knees to chest. How bout them apples? The only problem was the killer charley horse in my leg that made it really hard to think about moving. That damn leg was shaking for a good three hours!

Tuesday’s Monkey Bar was the deck of cards workout with the exercises being lunges (left/right=1), leg lifts, pushups and situps. I’m still too exhausted to count how many of each we did for 45 minutes, but trust me when I say it was a lot. The upside? Depeche Mode was part of the cooldown music. Then for level 2 it was a review of front kicks followed by stabbing defense against a front kick and plucking defense against a front kick. My pluck needs some work. After that was groundwork with choke and a headlock. I can’t buck very well (odd, I know) and I’m not really sure of my ability if it was someone heavy on top of me but practice will make perfect. To end class we did what I’m terming a fight circle where one person is in the middle and everyone attacks them with level 1 stuff. At one point in my turn I had someone choking me from the front and back. Not really sure how to get out of that one. But I did escape the headlock using the defense Lukasz taught where you really aren’t caught at all. Good stuff.

Thursday I took a nap and only did Monkey Bar. We did what Ryan affectionately called MMA Championships. It was a minute each of the following (a total of 5 minutes) and then a minute rest.
• Pushups
• Sit ups with a reach (holding a tombstone pad and pushing it above your head)
• Tombstone jumps (jump over the pad)
• Tombstone n/s with  5 palm heel strikes
• Snowboarders
It sounds simple right? By the second round I wanted to die. Hard work out. Then there was the expected yoga but at least I got him to play Depeche Mode again.

I even went to Monkey Bar on Friday. Then again, not like I had a ton of other plans. It started with 15 minutes of Dodge Ball. Now, this wasn’t your fifth grade Dodge Ball. If you got hit, you had to do 10 jumping jacks. You hit someone in the head, hit the window or the ceiling, 10 pushups. And you didn’t stay on a side, you ran around. This was followed by some intense yoga that made me super dizzy.

Saturday was the typical level 2 and then level 1. Level 2 was a little more cardio than I necessarily want at 9 a.m. but still good. And all the mounting, choking and bucking is a way to get a few calories off. Level 1 was instructor’s choice and I did the warm up which is slightly unusual for me (see, I’m already warm from level 2 so why put myself through the torture right?). Then we did some kicks, some ground work and some twisting and flipping ground work. Oy.

I was told though that my shape is looking different since I got in to level 2 (or started Monkey Bar which were pretty simultaneous so who knows). I don’t see it but I guess others think I look more muscular. Good I guess.

What I Want Wednesday 4/14/10

Although I have no space in my place, I’ve wanted a treadmill for the last six years. I do love the jogging and having it in the comfort of my home is a bonus (do you hear the sighs as I wistfully remember having one at one point????). Anyway, even though it isn’t a viable option right now, I am loving this model.

The Proform 590T (on sale for $599 regularly $999) is one of those that I’d love to have NOW(but let’s be real, I’ll take just about ANY treadmill right now but I’ll covet an expensive one at the moment). As http://www.proform.com/ tells me:

“The ProForm 590T, part of the ProForm Tech Series, is designed to deliver the ultimate workout. Featuring a built-in sound system, workouts created by Certified Personal Trainers and performance-driven cushioning, this treadmill combines innovative technology for powerful results. Stay motivated with the Compatible Music Port for iPod® and the unbeatable sound quality of Intermix Acoustics™ 2.0. And while you're moving to the beat of your favorite tunes, get fit with iFit® Workout Card Technology. Each card automatically adjusts your speed and incline while the voice of a personal trainer coaches you through your workout. And if you need something fast, easy and to the point, try one of the 12 Quick™ Calorie-Burn Workouts. Quickly select the amount of calories you want to burn and the treadmill does the rest! The 590T also features ProTech™ Cushioning, a 2.25 CHP Mach Z™ Motor and Quick™ incline and speed controls.”

And the Web site’s picture makes it look pretty too right?

(All info on the machine and photo from proform.com)

Dictionary Part 2

Approved friends list: the people that are acceptable to be around.

Boy: generic term for the male in my life that makes me want to pull my hair out. Sometimes they have “men” tendencies, others they are just still waiting for Gepetto to make them real.

Conpuzzled: a combination of confused and puzzled. When one just isn’t enough, use both. Pretty much the constant state of my life.

Marbles: synonym for brain but what I do not possess anymore

Moron: term of endearment for those in my life (seriously)

Weekly Workout Train 4/11/10

Per usual, I was a masochist and started the week with Monkey Bar. I can’t tell you exactly what we did, but it did involve sprints outside. And some yoga. And some “do this for one minute” exercises. And there were abs. All in all, I was pouring sweat and as that’s the point, score one for a good workout. After that I decided I had at least a little more in me so I thought I’d go for a run. Well, the best laid plans pave the road to hell and it was more of a “wog” (walk/jog) for 2.30 miles. Not overly shabby. The upside? I’m down one pound. Yes, one measly pound but as I’ve reconfigured my goal weight I’ll take it.

Tuesday sucked. I know that isn’t really a positive statement but it’s true. In Monkey Bar we did 45 minutes of the following exercises trying to get to Power Level for as many as we could:
• Jump rope
• Powerwheel laps (yes, this requires you to strap it on your feet and walk on your hands with abs engaged to get moving. Not easy.)
• Box hops
• Push ups
• Sit ups
• Bear crawls

For the record, I can’t do powerwheel laps to save my butt and it was pretty hysterical. I ended up being a trooper and doing 4 which was the first stability level. I hit Power Level for jump rope (1000 revolutions), sit ups (100 weighted), box hops (100) and bear crawls (10 lengths). I did 50 push ups (25 the “right way” and 25 on my knees) but at least that was Stability level 1. Whew.

Krav was not so much fun. The warm up was one of Dante’s circles of hell with all level 1 self defenses in a free for all and then a circle where we had to do burpees if we weren’t attacking. That lasted half an hour. It is a lot more intense than you might think. After that, our arms were worked with bobbing and weaving with hooks. Then came the fun ground work with more bucking. Let’s just say my escape from a choke while mounted needs some work.

On Wednesday I had every intention of working out. Except that every ounce of my legs hurt and my ribs felt broken. Yeah, chalk that last one up to powerwheel lengths.

Thursday is normally a dual day but after about 10 minutes of level 2, it was apparent that there was no way I could handle the 160 squats Monkey Bar would be calling for. Level 2 would have been a little more ok if it wasn’t for the running and mountain climbers during warm up. Yes, that was *part* of the warm up. It felt really good to hit a heavy bag during class though as we had a group of three for hooks. Then it was on to ground work that includes a bit of mounting. No trap and roll this time, but a much better experience than shrimping.

Saturday saw the double of level 2 and level 1. We realized that the reason we’re having issues with our hooks is the gloves are so stinking big. But, our covering defenses are getting better. Granted I’ll always go for an extended defense first, but at least I know both. I’m not sure why I continue to do a class at 9 a.m. when I know that I have no morning motivation, but perhaps I’ll fix that later. The groundwork wasn’t as bad so maybe we’re making progress. Level 1 was a return to straight punches (can one ever do too many of those?) and kicks. For some reason I couldn’t kick with my left foot. Strange that there isn’t ability there anymore but hopefully just a fluke.

All in all, not the best week, not the worst week. I’ve also incorporated tracking on http://www.livestrong.com/ to try and help figure out the calories in/calories out and see what my nutrient goals are. I’m still just down that one measly pound but I guess it is better than nothing right?

Who Doesn't Love Embarassing Moments?

As it seems another one is biting the dust, I thought I’d take a trip down memory lane. Most of my life has been filled with completely embarrassing moments that others like to bring up and, well, if I’m being honest like to instigate. Some of them I can live down, others I just can’t. And many revolve around me and some stinking boy I liked (one could have called me boy crazy back in the day. As I’ve grown up, that hasn’t really changed:)). I guess this is as good a place as any to just throw them out there and take the embarrassment away on my own. Let’s take a look at the top five embarrassing (boy) moments from my youth:

5. Sophomore year in high school I had the hugest crush on a guy named Casey. As my initials are KC, my dear friend Jenny would find it appropriate to scream them whenever we were within two feet of each other (the guy and me). As he had no idea who I was, he’d look and get quite confused. One day he actually asked who I was and why I was standing next to him. I’m pretty sure he thought I was nuts.

4. The seventh grade school project diary I wrote on the Civil War. Sounds innocuous right? Not so much. In it I took on the last name of the (older) guy I liked from Alabama and we were married. Um, yeah his family totally got a copy of that one and it was hard to live down. In my defense, Charley was completely cute, but I may have gone slightly overboard in how much I missed him while he was “off to war”. I did get an “A” on the assignment though and it was enough to make me apply to Auburn.

3. I was stood up for Sadie Hawkins my Freshman year as my “date” Mike got back together with his (ugly) girlfriend two days before the dance. He had forgotten to tell me and I had already purchased (hideous horizontal stripe) shirts. Not one to be deterred and having to find a date as my mom was set to drive two other couples, I had to find someone. That was our friend Justin and somehow we got “married” that night with the picture making it to the yearbook. Everyone thought we were dating. Not that there was anything wrong with Justin, he just wasn’t football/basketball/baseball captain material like Mike was. I never lived that picture down and I still blame Mike.

2. There’s a Denny’s in Hampton, VA that I’m not allowed in at the same time as one of my ex boyfriends. We had a very spirited discussion in the restaurant about his “friendship” with other girls and just how friendly it was. I *may* have raised my voice considerably during this time and *may* have decided that climbing over the table was appropriate. This may have been after he gave details that weren’t really necessary. We may have been causing a scene that others stopped eating to watch. It didn’t get a whole lot better from there and we were politely asked to leave. On the way out, they suggested that it would be better if we never returned at the same time. And that the suggestion was more of a mandate.

1. It’s safe to say I made my way though many of the boat racing guys I grew up with or knew (get your mind out of the gutter, I mean I dated or kissed most of them, nothing icky going on there. I was a good Catholic girl). There was one however that didn’t quite see the appeal of dating me and I just liked him a lot and hoped that he’d come around (such a change from my life now right????). Anyway, on the way back from a race a million miles away, we had a caravan of trucks and boats all keeping contact with CBs. Again, nothing that sounds dangerous there. Well, as we entered later in the night the conversation took an ugly turn and while we thought the person in question was sleeping, one of my friends thought it a nice idea to talk to his crew chief about my crush. This would have been slightly fine if all the other trucks couldn’t hear it too, including the girl I thought he liked. And if he was really sleeping. About two minutes before we were stopping at a restaurant for a late dinner, he came on and said he heard everything and that there was no chance. Um, awkward much? Upon arriving at the restaurant I promptly exited the vehicle and tried to hide under a newspaper stand.

Is it any wonder I turned out the way I did?

What I Want Wednesday

Last summer there were more trips to a Coach Outlet Store than I’d care to count. I’d like to say I only purchased something on one of them and it was a keychain. Just don’t ask about my spring trip which coincidentally did not happen this year so I think I’m fine. Anyway, I fell in love with some of their sunglasses because I thought they’d make a great companion to my Burberry ones (purchased at the Rome Airport while waiting for a flight and slightly too big).

These are awesome. They’re the Madeline and are $198 (photo from coach.com)

This about sums it up...

New Dictionary

For those of us of a certain age, it was a rite of passage that upon entering college you'd get this huge dictionary to take with you. And there is the great part of the cult classic "Say Anything" where Diane Court has gone through her dictionary and highlighted the words she has looked up. I think it is time we start a new dictionary of what some terms really mean. Here's part one.

Friends: completely ambiguous term that means someone you don’t loathe or despise. It could mean you actually like the person or just don’t have apathy for them.

Later: sometime that isn’t now but isn’t when hell freezes over either. When said by a man, it’s a crap shoot how close to hell freezing over it will actually be.

Ledge: the place you reside while liking a stupid male. There is no cure, no magic pill, just a teetering, uncertain feeling that never quite dissipates.

Pseudo/quasi/eh: all three are interchangeable in terms of not putting a label on something that should totally have a label but since label is scary these modifiers are used to keep us on said ledge.

Weekly Workout Train 4/3/2010

I’m beginning to think that starting my workout week with a killer Monkey Bar class may end up being the death of me. Or maybe that’s just because I could barely stand up straight to take the class. Either way, it was not an easy go. The motivation of homemade cookies at the end is pretty much what got me through. Anyway, it was a series of 15 exercises (do as many reps as possible) for a minute each with one break. After the first round of 15 and a short break, it was back through the cycle but backwards. Let’s see if I can remember them all (perhaps not in order):
• Push ups
• Downdog pushups
• Hindu pushups
• Diamond pushups
• Crunches
• Russian twists
• Bicycle crunches
• Split squats
• Sumo squats
• Squats with feet together, hands on head
• Toe raises
• Push kicks
• Toe jumps
• Burpees
• Sprawls
Yep, it was hard getting off the couch after that one.

Oy. That’s a pretty good word to describe Tuesday’s Monkey Bar. It was as many sets as possible of the following after our baseline:
5 Around the world (in pushup position, lift one hand, other hand, that foot, other foot for one rep)
10 Snowboarders
15 Downdog pushups
20 Bicycles
25 Lunges (left/right was one)
50 Sit ups
100 Jump rope revolutions

I finished five sets in the time allotted. That’s 25 around the worlds, 50 snowboarders, 75 Hindu pushups, 100 bicycles, 125 lunges, 250 sit ups and 500 jump rope revolutions. Sometimes I hate my Type A personality to do the math on these things. After that I decided to be a slacker and not do Krav. Could also have something to do with the fact that the three nights prior I had about 3 hours of sleep each night.

Thursday I went back to the theory that the 16 bazillion pounds of fat weren’t going to magically disappear so I decided to do both classes. Krav was a whole lotta groundwork this week which is not my favorite. Hell, I couldn’t get up right for months. Add to this the fact that you have to mount a partner and get bucked off and well, you can see where this is going. It really does make your abs engage though. There’s a floor technique affectionately called “shrimping” that I especially struggled with. At one point my instructor casually asked if I was trying to exfoliate for free on his floor as I was scraping by and not doing it properly. Whoopsie. Guess that move needs some work. The Monkey Bar workout was a circuit of 30 minutes of the following at a 40 second on/20 second off interval:
• Ladder (jumping in and out of the boxes)
• Russian Twists with weight
• Curls
• Powerwheel roll-outs
• Chin ups
• Box hops
• Some other arm exercise I can’t remember.

Friday saw me return to running. It was a beautiful day out and at least that made up for the not so stellar run. I went further the first time than I did before, but overall my time was pretty off. I know, it was my second run of the year so I should give myself a break, but I wanted to burn more than 356 calories.

And as it was the holiday, that was all for me:)

My Three Day Rule

By this point in our lives we are all familiar with the three day rule. To recap, it basically means that after a first date (and in some cases any date) with a guy you will anxiously wait three frickin days before he contacts you. Yeah, whoever came up with that one is a genius right? I mean, if you like someone...anyway I’m starting to digress from my point and it’s too early in the day for that. The gist is that things take time and no one wants to put anything out there and it goes back to my hate the player not the game issue which is still wholly unresolved.


My three day rule is slightly different. I’m not the most patient person in the world but I have my moments. For e example, when it comes to the person I like I seem to have all the patience in the world and will put up with just about anything. And as A pointed out last night, I tend to take a while to learn from those experiences but at least I learn. The three day rule here is that I can put up with just about anything and accept just about anything for 48 hours without question. The moment that third day hits and I enter in to 72 hour territory, I start losing my marbles. I don’t know what the real deal behind that magic number is, but it happens almost every single time.

It’s almost scary how content I can be during those first 48 hours and the turn it takes going in to 72. It’s like all my prior knowledge goes out the window and I have no perspective on things. Gah! I’d really say THIS is my worst trait although others may disagree.

Maybe it’s because anything can be dealt with for short period of time but by the time almost half a week rolls around I start to question intentions. I mean, it makes sense to have a 24 waiting period between a phone call or an e-mail and I can even see it taking longer based on outside life factors, but by the third day it just seems careless and rude. And for the record, I know this sounds crazy but at least I’m self-aware and honest;)

So to make a long story short (too late I know), I’m feeling fidgety. Not the fidgety I normally have (hey, it burns calories) but the “going to throw a phone through a wall/computer and bail” kind of way which is never good for anyone. Here’s to hoping it changes soon.

What I Want Wednesday

I’m Irish on both sides and love wearing my Claddagh ring. Currently I have a cute gold one my parents bought me years ago and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It works pretty well with just about everything (and came in mighty handy when we met the Irish boys in Vegas. Oh those rugby guys...). But, as Bobby Brown would say, it’s my prerogative and I want a nice, platinum one at some point (ok, let’s be real, I could probably live with silver). This one is only $835. Well, maybe silver isn’t so bad;)

Hanging with the Kids

To say that this was a humongously random weekend would be an understatement. There were three things I had planned on doing and two of those did happen, but the rest was an amalgamation of oddities. Partly due to conversations (some long overdue and some that didn’t happen), partly due to participants and well, partly due to the fact that as much as I hate my new “go with the flow” attitude I’m still embracing it and acting upon it. Sigh.

What hit me like a ton of bricks this weekend is that I am not a youngen anymore (is that supposed to be two words, hyphenated or something? Where’s the rule book for these terms?). See that picture to the left? It was my 21st birthday and that's the bottle of tequila my mom bought me. I could totally rockstar it then. By no stretch am I an old spinster or even, well, old but there are certain things that can be done at 21-22 that attempting at this age will not work out well. Then again, I’m fully embracing the fact that some don’t think I look a day over 26 so I’ll run with it. Yep, I’m 26 or at least 26+.

For example, staying out past a reasonable bedtime two days in a row, with getting up early, no nap and two hours of Krav does not make for an easy end to a weekend. Of course, if you take out the Krav part you could be talking about a four year old too but not the point. Now add some alcoholic beverages and a penchant for thinking too much before falling asleep and you have a potent combination. I’d try and count the hours I actually slept on Friday/Saturday but that would make me sad. Unlike the hours I slept Sunday (there was no Saturday/Sunday sleep as that didn’t even happen until like 5 a.m.) which might outnumber the awake ones.

All this in separate instances might not have made me think of the fact that I can’t hang with kids anymore if it wasn’t that part of the randomness had me hanging with “kids” Saturday. I have to say, it had been quite a while since I attempted beer pong or had been in a house where the DINING ROOM TABLE looked like it was only used for beer pong. How did this happen you ask? I met a friend at the bar earlier in the evening and through a string of six degrees of separation that I don’t remember he knew the kids in question. They seemed like alright people. I was the DD that night and far from a party pooper so off to the kids house we went. Oddly the music selection was much more something from my day but perhaps that was a nod to the old farts in the room;) The night was a lot of fun even without the benefit of alcohol but then again I pretty much always have fun when out with that friend. I did feel like the bad mom when I was shutting our participation down at 3:45 a.m. because, well, I was going to fall asleep. Then there was the little excursion to try and get home with a very inebriated co-pilot but it really adds to the fun of the randomness (see, I can go with the flow).

The point is that back in the day a weekend like this would be normal and I could have spent Sunday doing just about anything and woken up at a reasonable hour. 2 p.m. is not a reasonable hour for an adult! And I dragged all day when I didn’t even do anything to drag from! Back in the day I could do that and not feel like crap. I could hang and drink and all that and not have my eyes physically hurt from being so tired. Being older sucks. Having a job to get up for at 5:15 a.m. this morning sucks. I want to be a carefree kid who can hang like that two nights in a row. Ok, perhaps not all that far but at least have some stamina. Damn.

Weekly Workout Train 3/28/10

Oh what a Monday Monkey Bar workout I had this week! But that’s the awesome thing about Monkey Bar, you never know what you’re going to get and it isn’t boring. We started with some light cardio and then looked at our workout. It went something like this:

Starting with 15 then 14 then 13 (you get the idea of dialing down) do:
• Burpees
• Push-ups
• Pikes
• Push kicks

Once finished, commence with 5 lengths then 1 length of:
• Walking lunges
• Horizontal hand walks

After this:
• 5 minutes of jump rope

Um, yeah. For those of you counting at home, that’s 120 reps each of the first four exercises. I’m proud to say I did all of it but a minute and a half of jump rope before our instructor called time. Whew!

Terrible Tuesday (so named as I was sore before even thinking about working out for two hours) saw Monkey Bar and Krav. Monkey Bar had baseline with the dreaded box hops. Seriously, I do have some coordination so why are they so blasted hard for me? Then it was AMAP (as many as possible) in 30 minutes of the following sequence:
• 20 split squats
• 20 burpees (DAMN THEM)
• 20 sit ups
• 20 push ups
• 20 Capoeria lunges
• 30/30 side plank (hold each side for 30 seconds)

I was a trooper and made it to the second exercise of set 6.Whew. One could say I was adequately warmed up for Krav. Admittedly I was a little leery of the agenda this week in Krav. I have this thing where I’m not a fan of being choked. Chokes from the front and behind while being pushed in to a wall were the defense this week. While it is TOTALLY creepy at first, it does get easier. We also were bobbing and weaving (which those of you who know me know I can do around priests quite well) and some combinations (left, right, left hook, right uppercut). It is with great pride I tell you that my partner and I came out alive and without any new bruises!

Thursday, Thursday. With Krav first I felt like I’d be in proper form for Monkey Bar. Ha. For some reason my bob and weave looked more like a drunk sailor on shore leave which, as you might imagine, is not cute. I tried though. I think my hooks are getting better (you do them in 16 oz. gloves that you’re not used to) and that’s something. Then the chokes came and I’m still trying to keep my head on the wall. Sounds weird but does work. Fingers crossed I never actually have to use it. In Monkey Bar we did a deck of cards. What’s that you ask? There are four exercises (in this case push ups, abs, elephants and squats with lunges) and each suit represents an exercise. Face cards count as 15 reps and then the other cards are face value. Well, except for those stinking elephants which were deemed a tad easy so we did them times five. Yeah. I could have lived without that.

And let me tell you, Friday my back and hamstrings hurt like hell.

As usual, Saturday was a two-fer with level 2 and level 1 of Krav. To be honest, I wasn’t going to stay for the second but peer pressure and a sense of removing the 16 bazillion pounds from my ass made me stay. Same as before for level 2 but my hooks seemed a bit better. Level 1 was a return to groundwork and apparently I had forgotten how your abs feel after it. Perhaps it was due in some part to the abs from Monkey Bar on Thursday. It was nice to be back in a place where I actually knew the techniques and felt comfortable. Sigh.

Well, kids, another week and another round of workouts. Still at that 16 bazillion pounds to shed but feeling a little stronger and a little more certain that EVENTUALLY they will leave;)

Songs That Mirror My Mood/Thoughts Today

I’m in an odd mood today. It isn’t completely happy, but not remotely sad, not overly hopeful yet not really confused either. I’m not sure there is a word to describe it but it’s kind of how I’ve been feeling a lot lately. Since there are some large situations that aren’t going to change overnight and I don’t have complete control over, I’m choosing (!) to focus on one particular thing (kinda like “One Particular Harbour” by Jimmy Buffet but without the Polynesian words). Instead, I’ll pour my thoughts today in to something that I hope I do have some control over and makes me smile. One could say I have a secret but everyone knows I’m not good at keeping secrets about myself.

Why Can’t I by Liz Phair (“gonna take a while for this egg to hatch”)

Kiss by Prince (“ain’t no particular sign I’m more compatible with, I just want your extra time and your kiss”)

“If’ by Janet Jackson (well, all of it basically. And FYI, I used to be able to do the dance from the video.)

“All Over Me” by Default (see above minus knowing any dance)





Yeah, you figure it out:)

How Do You Spell Together?

Back in the day I had this best friend I’ll call Blondie. In an effort of full disclosure I’ll report that we are no longer friends and have not spoken in almost 16 years. There’s a myriad of reasons why we don’t but let’s just say we had differing world views at the tender age of 17 and it never really got any better.

At any rate, Blondie and I were pretty much inseparable but we had very defined roles in our friendship which anyone will tell you isn’t the healthiest thing around. She was the “pretty and fun” one while I was the “smart and nice” one. As most teenage girls will do, we each wanted to be part of the other person’s descriptives and it caused some tension.

I’m digressing from the point but I think you should have an idea of how tempestuous our relationship was to fully understand my frustrations sometimes.

So Blondie never had a shortage of guys who would fawn all over her. And I do mean a gaggle and I do mean fawning. There were some that she was “just friends” with that seemed enamoured with her and I’m not sure she even knew. There was one that I’ll call Suave that started out as a friend and I think they may have dated but I’m not completely sure.

By second semester senior year I was no longer on the sidelines in terms of fully participating in liquid festivities at parties and babysitting/telling Blondie what she did the night before because, well, sometimes I was a little fuzzy on my own details let alone hers. As we did every partying weekend, we were staying at my house as I didn’t have a curfew and my parents were pretty cool about things (Thanks Mom!).

It was late and all I wanted to do was go to sleep but Blondie had to talk slur to Suave at some un-Godly hour. She picks up the phone and calls him, adamant that she must profess her true feelings at THAT EXACT MOMENT. It couldn’t wait, he had to know. Now my room isn’t that big so I’m clearly along for the ride. She’s laying on the floor practically eating the phone in an attempt to “be quiet” and tell Suave that they should date.

Apparently Suave couldn’t understand her or he was too drunk himself as he had been at the same party. Blondie keeps repeating that she just “wants to be with him.” He’s not catching on so she starts this conversation:

Blondie: I just want us to be together.
Suave: Huh, what did you say about forever?
Blondie: No, I said together.
Suave: Why are you talking about the weather right now?”
Blondie: Together, Suave. Together.
Suave: (mumbled, I couldn’t hear)
Blondie: Yeah, I us together.
Suave: I don’t know what you’re saying.
(It is fair to say by this point I was losing my ish and I decided to part of the conversation.)
Kiki: No, together. Together together together. T-O-G-E-T-H-E fucking R together!

They quickly got off the phone at that point as I believe they got my hint that I was tired and it was time for bed.

Point of this story? I can no longer spell together without spelling it out just like I did back then with the expletive in the middle. I know, it’s childish and horribly inappropriate but darn it, it works for me:)

What I Want Wednesday

While I know that on the salary I make now (and can project making in the future) a pair of Christian Louboutin anything is well out of my price range, a girl can dream. If I had the money and the ability to walk in 3 and 9/10 inch heels, I would own these in a heartbeat. I covet them. And they're only about $1595.

My Shower is Bipolar*

When I moved to my new apartment last fall there were few things that I was really looking for. Example: it had to have central air conditioning (you’d be amazed at how many places do not), good closet space and preferably more than one bathroom. I’m pretty simple when it comes to these things. Notice that kitchen space isn’t on here because who are we kidding, I don’t cook.

At any rate, I found my complex through a friend and as it met all the main criteria plus some, I was sold. At that point it didn’t take much to sell me as it was also cheaper than my old place and with better windows but not the point. I should have looked a tad closer at the shower though.

Abort Mission!!!!

The last week was a little tough and at times like that I like to think of the funnier times in my life. As I so eloquently asked a friend on Facebook if she was still up for a little trip to Venezuela (they don’t extradite) I mentioned that I promised to make the excursion more fun than our “Abort Mission” escapade. Just the thought of those two words and the time is enough to have me laughing for a good half hour.

Back in the day, there was one summer that was less than stellar for me and my dear friend Kelly. During this time we were both going through various break-ups and not exactly being in our right minds. We were also about to be unemployed with even more time on our hands so it was a dangerous situation.

Now, I’m not one to tell secrets normally, but we all know that at one point or another we have been guilty of, well, let’s call it changing our driving route and the car having a life of its own and just happening to drive past a certain individual’s house.

In this particular situation, we were able to get a two-fer in with a new car that had a mind of it’s own and just so happened to take us down two streets. In my defense, I wasn’t driving;) As we turned the corner (on to a dead end street mind you) I was riding shotgun and ready to look to my right as we approached a stop sign to see if a certain someone was home and if so what other cars were there. Hey, if the car was going to make us go that way I figured that I might as well get some enjoyment out of the occasion.

Things were going well and as previously mentioned it was summer so the windows were down and the sunroof was open. We were about halfway down the block when I looked to my right and lo and behold, the ex was jogging about four feet away from me. WTF???? Kelly noticed about the same time and there was panic in the car.

I screamed “abort mission, abort mission” (where that came from I have no idea) and tried to make myself invisible. Yes, I realize that screaming in a car with the windows open is not the smartest idea but no one has accused me of being smart. I tried to make the seat go back and it wouldn’t, I tried to climb in to the back seat and I couldn’t. All I could do was slink to the floor and scream “abort mission” a few more times. Poor Kelly had to be a good driver and stop at the stop sign and yell “what’s next” and “what do I do” over and over.

We turned down the street obviously the opposite way of the house in question. I tried to get back in my seat and figure out a plan. I called the ex’s sister to see if she knew what to do (I realize she wasn’t there but come on, I was young and about to be caught doing a drive by). Then Kelly and I decided that TCBY was the best option ever so we could recoup. We get to the store and not kidding you, five seconds later my phone rang. Of course it was him. In my best acting cool voice, I answered. He asked where I was and instead of lying, I told him (I have a problem lying to people. Some consider this a good thing yet I consider it a detriment). He didn’t understand why I kept asking questions about what he had done all day and where he was. All he wanted to do was have dinner.

Fearing that some sort of confrontation about me seeing him in his natural habitat would ensue, I made Kelly go with me. To make it even better, I made her take her car home and keep in the driveway so that he wouldn’t know she had a new one and associate it with screaming women as he ran. I am nothing if not forward thinking.

Obviously the topic didn’t come up at dinner but Kelly and I could not help but laugh at ourselves every few minutes. It’s been a long time since that fateful mission, but every time we think about it we laugh. That’s what friendship is about right?

Weekly Workout Train 3/20/10

Another week down and those 17 bazillion pounds seem to like the new residence they have taken up on my body. I swear, I’m about five seconds from inventing a home liposuction that isn’t scary. At any rate, here’s what this week’s workouts looked like.


Monday saw a return to Monkey Bar with sets and reps that included one of my least favorite exercises. I’m 100000 percent convinced that burpees were created by the devil or one of his high up minions. They suck. I’m sure we did some other things like the jump rope, sit ups, powerwheel and what not, but the burpees are what are sticking in my mind as hell. Oh well, the price right?

Tuesday was a double day with Monkey Bar and then Krav. This time around Monkey Bar had us trying to achieve different levels (alignment, strength 2, strength 3 and power) of five different exercises: push ups, box hops, sit ups with weights, jump rope, power wheel roll outs and bear crawls. I was pretty happy to hit power level for the jump rope (1000 revolutions), bear crawls (6 lengths) and weighted sit ups (100). As I do girly push ups the fact I did 50 wasn’t another power level but it is something to work on. The power level for powerwheels was 100 and we did 75 so almost. Box hops are a close second to burpees in my world so 50 was enough of those and that was strength level 3 so there;) Let’s say that doing defensive front kicks forever after this during Krav wasn’t the most fun experience ever. And my 360 defenses with counters look like I’m hitting midgets or having a seizure. There’s always room for improvement right?

Wednesday is normally a day off for me (I try to schedule my meetings to coincide with this). Instead of taking it easy, I thought a 3.5 mile walk would be a good idea. Well, the company of my dear friend LO was definitely a bonus as was the sunny weather, but my legs were in a state of rebellion about .75 miles in. And while it may appear that I live in a nice, flat area, there were moments when it felt like I was off-roading. The jury is out as to whether or not Wednesdays will be added to my schedule.

Thursday normally is another double but since V was sick I decided to only do Monkey Bar. To add a twist, it was Animal Thursday. What is that you ask? Well, all the exercises had an animal name: bear crawls, lizard lunges, crab walk, frog hops, inch worm and something else I’m forgetting. That’s not to ignore the ab work but let’s be honest, I’m past the point of thinking I’ll ever have flat abs again. R&S did not disappoint and an hour later I was feeling very sweaty and tired.

While Friday is almost never a workout day, I was feeling like a lard ass while working from home. Not that it should really count as a workout, but I did make myself do 50 push-ups (still girly on my knees) and 100 reps of abs. There.

Saturday’s masochism continued with level 2 and level 1 of Krav. While my 360 defenses with counters still stink, at least I do pretty well with choke with a pull. Not that it is used very much and not that I ever want to have to use it, but at least I’ve got the theory. Level 1 was all elbows and for once I came out with all the skin I went in with and no new bandaids. Yay!

Here’s to hoping I see some changes soon.

A Couch, a Computer and a Carefree Work Day

I’m working from home today. For me that means putting on workout pants that are perhaps a smidge too tight to wear in public, a long sleeve t-shirt so thoughtfully provided by my Krav partner V and putting my hair in a messy bun while I try to demolish the writer’s block that has been plaguing me at work all week. Yes friends, I am a writer by trade although at times I reserve the right to ignore that fact based on the wonderful words I post here.

There are two projects that have just been kicking my ass and I cannot seem to find the words to make them work. One is a policy/procedure so by my nature I hate having to do those but nonetheless it has to be done by next Thursday so I have no choice. The other is an article that sounds easy in theory but I just can’t get the mind/hand connection going with getting the words out to my fingers and on to a page. Oh, and since it is a Friday and we’d normally have a team huddle at work, I think I’m getting a call to still be a part of that. Let’s hope I remember to answer the phone;)

Today is a Good Day:)

Today starts my favorite time of year: March Madness. There’s just something about two weeks of good college basketball that gives me the warm fuzzies and I like that. In my younger (and non-working days) I would pretty much be glued to the TV to ensure that I didn’t miss a moment. Alas, that isn’t so possible these days but with the Internet I can still stay connected.

As usual, I’m not a fan of the selection committee’s bracket choices and two of my favorite teams are *most likely* going to play each other on Sunday. To be honest, I’ll be happy no matter which team wins but I do have one down in my bracket that I’m rooting for a little bit more. Nothing against the other since like I said, I’ll be happy either way. Even the so-called experts can’t pick that game and say that in any other bracket they’d both be Sweet 16 teams. Sigh.

And my Final Four is a little lopsided but we’ll see on April 5 has Syracuse and WVU.

Everyone Loves an Irish Girl

And this girl is definitely Irish:) I’m Irish on both sides (Tipperary and Derry, well now Londonderry) representing here. I have my Erin Go Bragh decoration on my front door, my St. Brigid’s Cross in the hall and one of my favorite Irish “toast” hanging on the opposite wall.

“May those who love us, love us; and those who don't love us, may God turn their hearts; and if He doesn't turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so we'll know them by their limping.”

Have a great one my friends!

I Am Clueless

It has come to my attention that I am completely clueless when it comes to certain aspects of my life. That I really am the last person to know certain things and that is especially disturbing since it is after all my life. A cathartic revelation here no?

I was attempting to go to sleep the other night which is a feat in and of itself and of course it was way too late for me to be attempting this. As I lay there counting backwards from 300 by threes (I read somewhere that it is supposed to help) a few snippets of what should have been signs from, oh the last year, came rushing in to my head. They were so minor and some might say trivial that I could almost give myself a pass for not recognizing them at the time but gosh are they important in hindsight (yes, I know that is normally 20/20 but I like to think of myself as a rather intuitive person so the fact I missed them is troubling).

Hate the Game not the Player Sucks

The above statement is one of my all time most hated. My thing is that this all shouldn’t be a game in the first place. Life is not rocket science and we spend too much time focusing on things that should be easy and we just keep making them harder. While I may sound slightly hypocritical, hear me out.

Last night I was having an interesting conversation with my neighbor about the whole guy/girl dynamic and how things could be settled a lot easier if other people just made our moves and decisions for us (clearly I am incapable of running my own life but I blame societal pressures and antiquated gender roles for that one. And my own inadequacy is a post for a whole other time). I countered that this particular subject shouldn’t be a game and that we have conditioned ourselves over the years to accept that it has to be and that we don’t question because of our fear.

Think about it: we’re taught from the time that we know what the “normal” boy/girl dynamic is that being up front and honest and using our words isn’t the way to go. On the playground it is pulling ponytails then notes with checkboxes then in high school we get the three day rule and guys just ignoring girls so they know they like them and, as jacked up as it sounds, like them more. It’s a game before we even really know that we are playing.

Fast forward to being “adults” and it is even worse. We don’t say things because we’re told that we shouldn’t put ourselves out there too much since fear has conditioned us to think that the worst is going to happen (and yes, sometimes it does but how many times would things work out if we just said what we were really thinking????). We play the game because we don’t think there is any other way to get around it because, some of my other least favorite words, that’s the way it’s always been.

And then there’s the fear that we are too pushy or too needy or might seem like some random “something” that will be a turn off? Um, they are talking to us in the first place so that should be a sign (I know, I KNOW) that they are at least slightly interested and don’t think of us as heinous toads. Yet we ignore all these things and the feeling in our gut that gives us the good butterflies and fall prey to the game.

But why does it have to be like this? Why is it a game? Having feelings for someone is supposed to be a good thing and while yes I realize it doesn’t always work out, it is normal, natural and damnit a lot of fun to be in a relationship with someone. Feelings aren’t logical or quantitative or even really measurable so why do we put rules on them and make a game out of them? Liking someone is a mutually beneficial arrangement and we make it in to a big production. I get it, no one likes rejection (hence the fear thing) but if we didn’t put rules on it maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to say to someone and paralyze us so that we don’t even try half the time.

Do I have a great answer for this other than “don’t let it be a game”? No, but I sure as hell wish more people felt that way about it.